The ones that got away

Fishy Tales #3

March 21, 2018 by mr.

And so to the one that was oh-so-close…

About 10 years ago I was hunting round yet again (still) for a new car. After a succession of Range Rovers and with Mrs Robbo happily ferrying the kids around in the Discovery 3, I thought it was about time to play. So out I went.

I had been looking at second hand 5 series BMWs as a bit of a stop-gap but once again Porsches came into focus. This time I was looking at 928s, 968s and 911s. Our Dear departed friend Mr Raymer had a lovely ice-green 911 SC for about the right price…or so the ad said. So I rang him and arranged to have a look.

And so it proved to be. A very neat and tidy 1983 SC 3.0 with low ks, with and without all the right features…which is to say that it didn’t have a whale tail. And nor should it. It was an SC, not a 930/933 after all.

The interesting aspect of the inspection/drive, was that I was accompanied by the lovely Mrs Robbo. After 20 minutes or so of cruising around, she declared that I should treat myself. It was about time I got back to driving something I really wanted to drive.

So what did I do? I bought an E60 BMW 540i. Ugh! Why? Particularly when I had been urged to buy the Porsche? Well it was to be my daily driver. It had good air-con. It was fast, comfortable, practical…. It just seemed the sensible thing to do. And today it would be worth maybe $15-$20,000! The SC? Conservatively….$75,000. Aaaaah!

Sadly the BMW met a premature demise. Let’s just say that, in the absence of suitable, available alternatives, I lent it to my P plate daughter to use one wet afternoon. She unexpectedly found herself in the middle of a multiple nose to tale incident. It was written off. I was just reeeeally grateful that she was in it, rather than her wee VW Poolo.

And then there was the double temptation… I still hadn’t got around to buying something that could be tossed around a track on the weekend but kept an eye on the classifieds just in case something presented itself. And so it did. And it scratched my other itch…Alfa Romeos. A 1970 Giulia Coupe already set up for Targas or for the track with a turbo’d, inter cooled 2 litre, roll cage, race seat and harness, Konis, lotsa negative camber, tyres etc. etc. etc. So I bought it.

The thing is, it shared garage space with a race prepared 944 that had been very competitive in the 944 series. And it was for sale too. Oooh. Bugger. How can I justify both? After a while I decided I could but by the time I got back to the owner, he had sold it…for less than two thirds of what he was originally asking (sob, sob).

The next stop on the journey is well documented on this web site. The 10Khop!! (Which is slowly starting to change colour!!! Work in progress!! Stay tuned!!!)

It takes a while but I DO finally get around to doing what I say I’m gonna do!

By Robbo (Ian Roberts)

Fishy Tales (The Ones That Got Away) – Part 2

February 5, 2018 by mr.

What next?

Ah yes… the perfect, red, 944 S2.

This one came close. A bloke in Templestowe had owned it for most of its life. And cherished it. When I rolled up to view it he opened his garage door and there it was. Well, as far as I could tell. There was a 944-like shape under a custom made car cover. With the Stuttgart crest and all. I’m not entirely sure why he needed a cover. His roller door had a specially designed compressible rubber dust strip on the bottom…and on the sides…and there was one around the single door to his back yard too. In that garage there was not a speck of dust to be seen.

The car as immaculate – Bright red; cup wheels. I was almost reluctant to get in lest my jeans mark the black leather interior.

He finally agreed to let me drive it…which is where the relationship faltered. After 10 minutes or so he decided that I’d had enough fun at his expense and suggested that I turn around and head back.

My big mistake was to turn in to the entrance to a sports ground car park…which was unsealed. Big mistake. It was tantamount to running a key down the side of the car. He demanded that I slow down (from 5 kph) and wanted to know why I would take such liberties with someone else’s car. Huh? What liberty? I was merely driving the vehicle on a road that was designed…for vehicles, ya muppet.

The upshot of all this is that I offered to buy the car – at the asking price – but he refused to sell it to me. Honest. He was convinced that I would not look after it properly. I think I ended up suggesting that he attempt an unnatural act upon himself then wished him good luck with the rest of his treatment.

So the quest continued.

Next I think was a far less pristine 944 S2 Turbo. With a big chip and MO30 suspension. It was manic. I am not sure exactly what the owner had done to it but the turbo lag was epic! Putter, putter, putter…BANG! Turning from High Street, Glen Iris onto the Monash freeway on-ramp in the rain is etched into my psyche. I put the foot down to catch a gap in traffic and … putter, putter, putter…BANG! Sideways! This thing had an LSD and unlike the race bred 911 that tried to kill me it had that fabled 944 balance. The owner and I both got a big kick and giggle out of looking through the passenger side window to see where we were headed. And unlike the precious owner of the precious red 944, this guy laughed like a drain! Anyway, I decided against it on the grounds that it was to be one of my daily drives and was a bit “out-there” and also that it was too far from standard and therefore wouldn’t keep its value (Haha – if we’d only known). And all this coming from the bloke who has done his level best to make his Boxster as far from standard as possible. But then again, I’ve probably ADDED to its value!!

The last instalment (I bet you can’t wait) involves a lovely 3.0 Ice Green 911 SC, a 944 Cup car and an Alfa 105 GTV Coupe (and more acts of idiocy/procrastination/conservatism/marque loyalty on my part)…

By Robbo (Ian Roberts)

Fishy Tales (The Ones That Got Away) – Part 1

November 16, 2017 by mr.

Because I am incorrigible and like to bore people with tall tales and true about my sparkling automotive history, and having read Max’s tale of “Ones That Got Away” or “If I Could Turn Back Time” (oh that film-clip – a young man’s fancy and an old man’s dream!) I decided to risk my mental health by reflecting on opportunities lost.

This is the first installment…I can’t promise that the tales of woe will be sequential, but then again, they don’t need to be.

First off… 911 Race car – I believe my first foray into the concept of Porsche ownership was when I was alerted to an imported, skinny bumper, BRIGHT ORANGE (sound familiar?) 911 with cage and Bilsteins and seats and stuff, going for a song. Given that I had recently sold my DOHC, 4-wheel disked, LSD’d, caged but untamed rally car I was hankering for something different. I therefore wandered out on a Saturday afternoon to a near deserted factory complex in Bayswater to have a look at this thing … and got all slack-jawed. I wanted it….Until it injured me…. then tried to kill me.

You see some months earlier I had fractured a couple of ribs (long story…) but was now mended, or so I believed. Whereas I was quite used to clambering into a roll-caged rally car I was not used to clambering over side intrusion bars in low-slung Porkers. In an attempt to contort myself appropriately, I twisted awkwardly only to hear a muted snap followed a split-second later by a shooting pain in my side… which was a rib breaking! This caused me to straighten reflexively, which in turn made be bang my scone of the top of the roll cage, very nearly concussing myself. The bloke selling the car laughed so hard he needed a change of socks.

Notwithstanding the pain in my side and the fog in my head, I was determined to redeem my dignity and resolved to somehow get in and drive the thing. Finally working out how to seat myself without passing out from the pain, we set off around a “race track’ that was the quiet industrial-complex streets. The thing seemed quick. Really quick. And twitchy! After a couple of “laps”, with confidence growing, I became ambitious. Coming around a blind-ish corner I was confronted by a stray neighborhood dog standing in the middle of the road. He wasn’t fazed by the sight of a howling, orange beast coming at him (I suspect he was inured to it all judging by the collection of tyre marks left by the local V8 boys) so he didn’t move. I’d never driven a Porsche. I didn’t know about the pendulum effect so I slammed on the brakes. And the bloody car tried to kill me!! It swapped ends faster than I could say $&^#@$%!

From that point, for a long time, I swore off rear engine cars of all descriptions.

Until…. The 930 3.3 – James, first born son and principal heir to the title of “Boofhead”, feigned illness one day when he was about 10. Having received the call from the school, with my wife away at the time and being the dutiful parent, I left work at lunchtime to collect the ailing young-un. Sick? Rubbish. I couldn’t take him back to school but he didn’t need tending so to keep myself entertained I got on the computer and started feeding my fancy (for Porsches, not Cher). Calling out to me was a nice silver 930 3.3 for sale at about $60,000. Really? So I grabbed the Boofhead and headed out to have look. The abiding memory for both of us is taking off from the Grange Road roundabout up St Georges Road with a Heavy Wellie and realizing I needed this car. A phone call to my wife at her parent’s farm soon quashed any ambitions. She reminded me that funds would be better used in the new business rather than to feed my addiction….(sigh).

But wait…there’s more…

To be continued.

By Robbo (Ian Roberts)

If I could turn back time…

October 9, 2017 by mr.

My hope is this could be a regular post where enthusiast tell their stories about that Porsche that got away. The title of these posts could have been inspired by all the fishing tales about the one that got away! But instead I decided to take my inspiration from Cher’s dodgy late 80’s song “If I could turn back time” with the unforgettable video clip. I thought this analogy was apt as Cher’s outfit and antics are a vivid and uncomfortable memory… perhaps similar to the mixed feelings of a Porsche that got away!

In the early 1990’s my then boyfriend and now husband Tim bought his first Porsche. On a bit of a whim, a red 1968 Californian converted 912 was purchased from Shannon’s Auction Rooms on Warrigal Rd. This acquisition could only take place with some assistance, and so the always charming Tim secured $8K of the $12K purchase price from me his super generous girlfriend.

It’s a long time ago, but I think Tim’s winning sales patter appealed to both head and heart. ‘I’ve always dreamed about having a Porsche, plus it’s going to be an awesome investment.’ Young love is truly a beautiful thing, so at the age of 21, I lent Tim the majority of my savings to buy his dream car. If that wasn’t enough, he then proceeded to store his Porsche in my garage whilst I parked on the street! Reflecting back, perhaps this storage location was a smart move, as it did give me some security against my loan.

Whilst stored in my garage, the 912 did receive some TLC from an enthusiastic but fairly cash strapped Tim.

So fast forward a year after purchase, and young love turns into a marriage proposal from Tim… Unsurprisingly, a marriage proposal comes with some serious commitments and expenses! So here is where Tim gets some tough love, and a reality check from his Fiancé. ‘The 912 needs to go!’ Tim dutifully sold the 912 for the same price as he purchased it for, and my $8K went into the marriage kitty. Did Tim therefore ever pay me back? After 23 years of marriage, this is a question that still remains unresolved, and continues to fuel some fun banter between Tim and myself!

Tim still bangs on about what the car would be worth today if I hadn’t made him sell it. He saw the car advertised around a year ago for $80K, and still argues it would have been an excellent investment. I’d argue keeping your soon to be wife happy is an even better investment decision… (plus the compound interest on $12K over the last 25 years is probably more than $80k!) However I am reliably informed by many Porsche enthusiasts that I’m really missing the point of the story!

In the interest of making these posts more interactive, I’m offering a prize to anyone who can correctly guess how many years we were married before Tim made his next Porsche acquisition.

If you have a ‘If I could turn back time’ Porsche story you’d like to share please get in touch… learning from Tim’s experience, I think lots of sharing with a supportive audience can be quite cathartic.

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The ones that got away